SHORT STORY ON KNOWING AND MANAGING YOURSELF:
💭 “I woke up in a dark mood. It mirrored the weather outside. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I knew this Ennie. When she visited nothing would happen until I had taken care of her. She was “Ennie Inner Child” that needed soothing, to cocoon and be reassured that all will be well. And once that happened, the grey looked beautiful and the weather was just right for a productive day full of learning.
It took me many years to develop this awareness of my moods, feelings, emotions and their source, as well as knowing how to manage this side of me with compassion.
☀ DEFINING SELF-AWARENESS:
The Oxford Dictionary defines self-awareness as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.”
Wikipedia defines it as “the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognise oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. You recognise your environment, body and lifestyle in the moment.”
☀Why is Self-awareness important in leading your life and achieving career goals?
🌀 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ): self-awareness is a key part of EQ. If you understand your feelings and emotions in different situations and what triggers them you can manage or even control your reactions. You also can use your feelings in managing yourself and relating with others. E.g. staying calm in the face of provocation and respond appropriately after assessing your options.
🌀 MAKING USE OF YOUR ABILITIES: if you know what you are good at and what you are not, you can make use of your strengths and work on your limitations. This is a key part of self-confidence, self worth and assertiveness.
🌀 MOTIVATION: this is internal and not from outside of you. If you know what motivates you, you can make use of that to help you achieve your goals. Or self-coach yourself out of a slump.
🌀 CHANGING YOU: if you are aware of your patterns of thinking, doing, behaving etc, you are in a better position to change them if they are not helping you. Changing habits requires high levels of self awareness as beliefs we have about ourselves determine our behaviour.
🌀 LEARNING/Personal growth: your whole life and what happens in your body, in the space where you relate with others and in the environment you exist in, is packed full of lessons. You can only effectively make use of them if you take time to learn and build your self awareness.
🌀 HEALING: there is a direct link between your thoughts and feelings and your body reaction/s. E.g. fear can result in an unsettled stomach, stress can cause headaches and stiff joints etc. So being aware of your emotions, thoughts and body reactions and changing your thoughts or managing your feelings could lead to healing.
🌀 GOALS ACHIEVEMENT:
– all the above support goal achievement. So unless you develop your self-awareness (understand yourself) you are likely to not reach your targets or struggle to get there.
🌀 WHAT NEXT❓❓❓
Commit to self-coaching using the GROW coaching model to achieve change:
🔆 GOAL: what do you want to achieve in terms of self awareness?
💬 Consider making developing for self-awareness one of your priorities/goals to help you achieve your 2019 or 2020 plans and improve your relationship with yourself and with others.
🔆 REALITY (current situation/reality): where are you now? How far are you from your goal? What are the issues and challenges?
💬 As a starting point you need to do a SELF-ASSESSMENT so that you create a baseline and identify where to focus your self-coaching.
🔆 OBSTACLES: what obstacles could stop you from achieving your goal?
It is important to anticipate challenges and plan for them.
🔆 OPTIONS: What options are open to you to deal with these obstacles or as a way forward?
It is important to list as many options for actions that are open to you.
Try not to do this with limitations based on your current reality.
🔆 WAY FORWARD – convert options into actions.
💬 What ACTIONS and Self-coaching PRACTICES would you like to take to COMMIT to for you to develop your self awareness. For example below are 10 possible actions or practices I will share tools on –
👉🏽 daily check-in and check-out
👉🏽 mindfulness /presence exercises
👉🏽 journal writing
👉🏽 regular review and reflection
👉🏽 asking for feedback regularly
👉🏽 practicing positive affirmations and self compassion
👉🏽 understanding your character and personality
👉🏽 changing thought patterns
👉🏽 working on any limiting beliefs you have about yourself
👉🏽 quiet time and meditation
❗TAKE ACTION once you select self-coaching options.
🔆 WRAP-UP : after deciding on action/s remember to –
✔ take the action /s
✔ review and reflect
✔ capture learning and use it
✔ be accountable to self and others
💬 In conclusion, the planned self-coaching tools and guidance that I will post here weekly will include all the options above and help you develop your self-awareness.
💬 Questions, comments and feedback welcome.
Written by: Ennie Chipembere Chikwema, Career Coach and Learning Expert
LinkedIn Profile: https://za.linkedin.com/in/ennie-chipembere-chikwema-81a30910a
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EnnieLifeCoach/
Date published: 09 October 2019